FAT & UGLY

one of my wishes/goals is to become slim and has sexy figure like th past. *winks*
yeah , its true tt i was to be as sexy as Jessica Alba.
there's one magazine, i forgotten which brand , once mentioned tt th ideal sexy figure is to have 0.7.
calculation is your waist size divide by your hip size.
mine waist is 26 and my hip size is 37 , therefore its 0.7 !
th ideal sexy figure which Jessica Alba had too.
tts why i used to say tt i looked like Jessica Alba & no one agreed. *sad*

HOWEVER.....
ON THE OTHER HAND....
everything change , everything gone.
i'll nvr forget things had changed when im sec3.
1. GROW FAT.
2. NO LONGER IDEAL SEXY FIGURE.
3. PIMPLES START GROWING.

no longer had a good and nice figure and complexion already );
i bet its th most scariest part where girls fear most.
& it all happened to me. wth `!#$%^&*()
speechless.
i cant find a word to describe th whole feelings of mine..

Make-up is one of th greatest invention tt enables one to transform to very pretty, gorgeous and beautiful person , esp. LADY.
i totally agree with it.
but..
to me, its not tt perfect yet.
how about your figure?
a flawless skin complexion + a slim&sexy figure *s* or *hour-glass* shape = ideal & perfect for LADY.
no doubt tt most of th girls are pursuing , including me.

when can i achieve it?
when can i fulfil my wishes/goals?
when can i get back to th time when im like almost perfect?
when ? when ? when !

i hate myself now.
i hate having many many many pimples now.
i hate being fat(stomach&thighs&arms).
i hate having elephant leg.
i hate being ugly.
i hate th feeling when i see pretty girls with good skin complexion + slim sexy figure.
i hate all these things that make me feel inferior.
i hate it , seriously.

when can i love myself?
hating people is tiring and hurting , moreover its hating myself..


perhaps, i should be more positive..